“No one person knows everything; that has never been God’s design. It matters not how wise we become, no one person has the right answers all of the time.” – Nicole A. Jones
If there’s one thing I’ve learned from studying (and being around) some of the most successful people in Nigeria, it’s that nobody really knows what they’re doing.
Not a single person!
We live in a world obsessed with mastery, credentials, and expertise. Everywhere you look, someone is showing being successful at a business, selling a course, writing a book, or giving a TED Talk on how to be an expert in something. Yet, behind closed doors, many of these people are simply winging it, navigating the same uncertainties you and I face every day, and cleaning up their messes as they go.
And that’s okay!
In fact, it’s more than okay. Seeing that they don’t have it all figured out is liberating. Because it lets you know for sure that when you stop striving for perfection and allow yourself to embrace the journey of the path you’re taking in life, you will unlock a level of creativity, resilience, and authenticity that is truly yours. Life is messy, unpredictable, and rarely goes according to plan. But realising that nobody else has it all figured out either should permit you to start to be a lot kinder to yourself.
Why?
Because Winging It Is A Universal Experience!
Reflect on the last time you struggled to make a decision, start a project, or navigate a difficult situation. You probably felt alone in your uncertainty, like you were the only one without a roadmap. But the reality is that winging it is a common human experience. Everyone is doing it! Whether it’s entrepreneurs launching businesses, artists creating masterpieces, or parents raising kids, so much of what we do is learned on the fly.
And the fascinating part? Some of the best results come from people who have no idea what they’re doing when they start. They’re simply figuring it out as they go, learning from their mistakes (and the experiences of those around them), and adapting along the way. Look at them all; from Betty Irabor to Ibukun Awosika, they all ventured into businesses in industries that they had to learn about quickly and navigate through. From the outside looking in, it’s easy to assume they had everything planned from the beginning. It’s easy to think they knew exactly what they were doing all along.
But behind every polished success story is a journey filled with false starts, failures, and doubts. What separates those of these successful people who thrive from those who don’t is not an inherent knowledge of how to do things “right”. It’s the willingness to try, fail, and keep going anyway.
This brings us to an important truth:
You Need To Be Kind to Yourself On Your Journey
Thanks to the internet and social media, we live in a hyper-competitive world where we’re constantly bombarded by stories of overnight successes and viral sensations. But here’s an open secret: most of those stories are carefully crafted narratives, not reality.
The reality is that progress is often slow and painful. Sometimes, you’ll hit a wall. Sometimes, you’ll feel like you’re going nowhere, like all your efforts are in vain. And it’s in those moments that you must remind yourself that success doesn’t come from doing everything right. It comes from continuing to show up, even when things aren’t going well.
Being kind to yourself means accepting that you may stumble at some point. It means giving yourself permission to be imperfect, to take detours, and to make mistakes. You wouldn’t expect someone else to be perfect on their first try, so why do you expect that of yourself? I’m romanticising the experience like the Instagram girlies do but the beauty of the journey is in the learning, the growth, and the surprises that come from not having all the answers upfront.
To be able to do this well over the long term, you need to be able to recognise:
The Illusion Of Certainty
Social media is a breeding ground for this illusion of certainty. It’s easy to look at other people’s lives and assume they’ve got it all figured out. You scroll through perfectly curated feeds, see people making bold moves and getting results, and think, “They know what they’re doing. Why don’t I?”
But underneath all of the curated feeds, you don’t see the hesitations, the second-guessing, and the behind-the-scenes messiness of these people. You don’t see the sleepless nights spent questioning whether they’re on the right path or the moments of panic when they realise they’re just as lost as everyone else. Most of what you’re seeing online is the highlight reel, not the full story.
The full story is that most people are making it up as they go. They’re experimenting, trying new things, and figuring out what works. And that’s exactly what you should be doing, too. The beauty of winging it is that it forces you to innovate. When you don’t have a strict plan to follow, you’re free to explore, pivot, and discover paths you never would have seen if you were rigidly focused on a predetermined outcome.
You also need to be able to:
Celebrate the Process
One of the greatest gifts you can give yourself is the ability to celebrate the process, not just the outcome. When you stop measuring your success by how perfect everything turns out and start measuring it by how much you’re learning and growing, everything changes.
The process is where life happens. It’s where you build resilience, sharpen your skills, and discover new passions. Instead of constantly chasing after some idealised version of success, focus on the day-to-day actions that move you forward. Every step you take, no matter how small, is progress. Every challenge you face is an opportunity to learn.
And guess what? Some of the most successful people you admire were in exactly the same position as you are now. They didn’t know what they were doing when they started. They made mistakes. They had doubts. But they kept going. They learned to be kind to themselves along the way, understanding that the journey was just as important—if not more so—than the destination.
So the next time you feel lost, confused, or like you’re “winging it,” remember that you’re not alone. You may not have all the answers. Nobody else has all the answers either. We’re all figuring it out as we go. The important thing is to embrace the uncertainty of what you’re going through, be kind to yourself when things don’t go as planned, and keep moving forward. Because in the end, it’s not about having all the answers. It’s about being brave enough to keep asking the questions.
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