“Let all your moments of self-doubt, fear, or disappointment fuel your drive to be great.” – Devin McCourty
Yesterday marked 23 days of my 90-day challenge to improve my life and I published a video on Instagram and LinkedIn about the articles I have been writing since I started. Creating and editing that video felt weird because I’m uncomfortable talking about what I do but I had to publish it. Why? For 2 reasons; because I promised myself to document and talk about what I do during this challenge, and because we live in a time where you can guarantee better success when you document and promote the things you do.
But, why was I uncomfortable talking about my work in the first place?
Well, because the voice in my head tells me that that’s self-promotion and self-promotion is cringe. I mean, everyone I’ve spoken to has admitted that they usually have conversations in their heads with themselves. So, I believe it’s normal to have a voice in my head telling me things.
We all have an internal monologue with a voice in our heads that narrates our lives, guides our decisions, and colours how we see the world. Sometimes, this voice in my head encourages me, pushing me toward new challenges and opportunities. So how can it be bad?
Well, it can be.
As I’m learning, some of the things it tells me are untrue—dangerous lies that have held me back from growth for a long time and kept me stuck in patterns that no longer serve me. Some of these lies are subtle, insidious even. They creep into my thoughts in moments of doubt, fear, or uncertainty. They shape how I view myself, my potential, and what I’m capable of achieving.
As I reflect on some of these lies that I have believed for way too long, I realise that, if left unchecked, they can sabotage my best efforts and prevent me from living the full, expansive life I’m meant to lead.
This is a vulnerable thing to admit, and even more vulnerable to talk about publicly. But I owe it to me to give myself the best chance of succeeding through this challenge. And my success in part hinges on confronting these lies and being truthful to myself.
So, if you are still reading, here are some of the most dangerous lies I believed about myself, and how I am trying to break free from them.
1. I’m Not Ready Yet
How often have you told yourself that you’re not ready?
I have told that to myself many times. Even this year, I had planned to start my 90-day challenge in January but I kept telling myself that I wasn’t ready, that I needed more time to prepare, more skills to execute it well, and more confidence before I could take the next step. This lie convinced me that there would come a magical moment when everything would fall into place and I’ll finally be “ready” to pursue my dreams. Well, that lasted until the 2nd of September when I pushed past that lie and got on with the challenge. And through this challenge, I have learnt that there’s never a perfect time to start anything. Waiting for readiness was just an excuse for avoiding the discomfort and uncertainty that came with pushing myself out of my comfort zone.
I’ve been operating outside of my comfort zone for about 24 days now and I’ve learnt through this experience that growth doesn’t happen when we’re fully prepared but when we step into the unknown, take risks, and learn as we go. Think about the people who’ve achieved great things, they didn’t wait until they were 100% confident or fully prepared. They took action despite their fears, and in doing so, they grew into the person they needed to be.
So, instead of telling yourself, “I’m not ready,” ask yourself, “What small step can I take right now?” The process of doing leads to readiness, not the other way around.
2. I’m Not Good Enough
This lie was the most damaging of all because it hurt me to my core. The voice of self-doubt repeatedly whispering that I’m not talented enough to call myself a writer, smart enough to be successful at pursuing a career in this, or worthy enough to succeed at anything. Looking within myself, I know that this lie was feeding off of my insecurities and comparison, convincing me that others have something that I don’t; a unique talent, a better education, more opportunities. I feel so vulnerable writing about this but I know that at least one person out there feels this way and I need that person to know that it’s all a lie.
The truth is, no one starts off being “good enough.” Everyone begins as a novice, uncertain and imperfect. The people I admire weren’t born exceptional; they became that way through consistent effort and learning. I know that now. I know that the belief that I’m not good enough is a self-fulfilling prophecy and that if I keep believing it, I’ll never try. And if I never try, I’ll never know what I’m capable of.
I’ve had to do a lot of soul-searching and healing to get to this point in my life and I know that growth comes from showing up, even when I feel inadequate. That’s why I’m pushing through my challenge; I’m enjoying the learning process and recognise that failure is not a reflection of my worth, but a necessary part of the journey.
3. I Don’t Have Time
Another big lie I used to believe was that I didn’t have time to pursue my passions, work on my goals, or invest in my growth. You see, being a new mum, working from home and trying to adjust to life in a new city, I believed that I did not have the time to do all of the things I wanted to do to improve my life. Time was a convenient scapegoat. It allowed me to avoid taking responsibility for the choices I was making. But the truth is, I have the same 24 hours in a day as Beyonce, and how I choose to spend that time is entirely up to me.
When we say we don’t have time, what we’re really saying is that something else is more important. Now I know that my growth requires prioritising the things that matter to me; whether it’s learning a new skill, investing in my health, or pursuing a creative passion. The lie of “no time” was just a cover for my fear of change and my procrastination.
If like me, you truly want to grow, you need to make time for it. This doesn’t mean you need to overhaul your entire schedule. Start small like I’m doing (I’m focused on only 2 goals; writing and health). Find 10 minutes a day to work on whatever your new goals are. I’m sure you can squeeze out 10 minutes at some point during your day. Over time, those 10 minutes add up, and before you know it, you’ll have made significant progress. I started with a 30-minute walk in the evenings and that has progressed to a 1-hour walk in the mornings.
4. It’s Too Late for Me
Oh, I liked this lie! Not ‘like’ as liking something, it was more like ‘it made sense’. You see, I am approaching my mid-30s. This is typically the age of senior managers in organisations. I mean, I’m a senior-level executive at my place of work. This lie told me that the window of opportunity for me to embark on a challenge to improve my writing and pursue a career in that path has closed and that I’ve missed my chance to grow or change. I looked at my age, my circumstances, and my past failures and convinced myself that it was too late to pursue something new.
But the truth is, it’s never too late to reinvent yourself. I literally have decades of life left in me if everything goes well. So why was I feeling like I was too old to change my life and pursue something new?
History is full of examples of people who achieved great things later in life. Afolabi Adeola was 36 when he started GTBank and voluntarily retired at 48. Vera Wang didn’t start designing wedding dresses until she was 40. You will find many similar stories with a simple Google search.
What does this tell me? Growth is not bound by age or circumstance but by mindset. As long as I’m alive, I have ample opportunity to grow, learn, and create something new. So, I’m not letting the lie of “too late” stop me from pursuing my dreams. The only time it’s too late is when I decide to stop trying. And that time is not now.
5. Success Is for Other People, Not Me
Thanks to Forbes 30 under 30 and other global recognition events, many of us hold the belief that success is something that happens to other people who are luckier, more talented, or more deserving. I held on to this for so long and it grew stronger after I decided to close my first business. I was convinced that success was out of reach, that it was reserved for a select few, and that I was not part of that club.
But I have got to a point in my growth journey where I believe that success isn’t something that’s handed out to a lucky few but is a result of consistent effort, perseverance, and a willingness to take risks. The people who succeed aren’t necessarily the most talented, but a commonality among them is that they’re the ones who keep going, even when the odds are against them.
Anyway, I have outgrown this lie. I know that although there are privileged people who achieve success at things as a result of the privileges they enjoy, many others succeed as a result of sheer discipline and belief in themselves.
I now operate from the understanding that I can be successful at anything if I put in the effort required to achieve it. This shift in my mindset and belief that success is possible for me is opening my mind to see opportunities where I once saw obstacles. I’m taking action to pursue the things I want, and with each step, I’m moving closer to the success I once thought was out of my reach.
The lies we tell ourselves are powerful because they feel true. They may be rooted in fear, insecurity, or past experiences, but they’re still lies. And like any lie, they can be dismantled with the truth.
And in this case, the truth is that growth is possible for everyone. Growth is possible for me. I am capable of more than I think. I don’t need to be perfect, ready, or deserving to start. I just need to take the first step, and then the next. And that’s just what I’m doing. In this process, I’m learning firsthand that growth is messy, uncomfortable, and sometimes painful, but it’s also rewarding, transformative, and entirely within my reach.
So the next time you catch that voice telling you one of these dangerous lies (or any others), pause. Recognise it for what it is; a limiting belief that’s holding you back. Then, replace it with the truth: You are ready, you are good enough, you have time, and it’s never too late. Success is not reserved for others; it’s waiting for you, too.
All you have to do is believe it.
P/s: If you have any questions about creating content and writing, please leave a comment below or DM me on Instagram!
