“We all need people who will give us feedback. That’s how we improve.” – Bill Gates
You’ve probably heard it before: feedback is a gift. But let’s be honest—some gifts are more like surprise chocolates, while others are the equivalent of a biscuit you never asked for. Over the past few weeks, as I’ve walked and written daily, I’ve been documenting my journey and sharing it online. The feedback has been pouring in—some of it brilliant, other bits… well, let’s just say it made me question my life choices.
But here’s the thing: learning how to give and receive feedback is one of the most important skills you can develop to grow, whether you’re a writer, a creator, or someone just trying to improve your life. When feedback hits right, it’s like a compass guiding you to your true north. When it misses? It’s like trying to use a map from 1995 to navigate a 2024 world. So how do we make sure feedback actually helps instead of hinders?
It starts with understanding how to master both sides of the equation—whether you’re the one handing out feedback or the one on the receiving end. Let’s start with those on the giving end, shall we?
How to Elevate the People Around You Using Feedback
1. Start with Connection, Not Critique:
Picture this: You’ve just poured your heart into something—whether it’s an essay, a project, or a passion you’ve been documenting for weeks. You hit publish, and boom! Someone comes in with a critique that feels like a punch to the gut. It hurts, right? I mean, we’re human. No matter how tough of a skin you have built, you’ll still feel the hurt and disappointment from something like that. That’s why, when giving feedback, it’s essential to lead with empathy. Feedback that starts from a place of connection is infinitely more powerful than feedback that feels like a cold evaluation. So, before you give that feedback, ask yourself “How can I make this person feel seen before I offer them advice?” A little encouragement goes a long way, especially when someone is in the middle of a journey that takes guts.
2. Be a Laser, Not a Floodlight:
You know how some feedback sounds like “Great job!” or “This could be better”? Yeah, that’s not feedback—it’s fluff. If you want to truly help someone, get specific. Great feedback is a laser beam, targeting exact points that can be improved. Let’s say your friend shares an article. Instead of saying, “It was okay,” say, “I loved your point about embracing discipline in creative work, but I felt the ending lacked punch. Maybe try closing with a personal story to tie it all together.” See what I did there? You’ve just given them something actionable, something they can use to level up that article.
3. Praise, Then Polish:
Imagine you’re a sculptor (yes, another one of my art-related examples, forgive me). But yeah, if you were a sculptor, you wouldn’t start by hacking at the stone, right? You’d admire its form, see its potential, and then start chiselling. Feedback is no different from that. If you want to give feedback to someone, start by highlighting what’s working before you move on to what needs fixing. This balance will make your feedback more digestible and motivate the recipient to improve without feeling deflated. When I share updates on my writing and walking journey, the feedback that helps me most is the kind that makes me feel like I’m already on the right path but just need a few tweaks to get to my destination faster.
4. Tailor Your Advice to Their Goals:
Here’s the kicker: not all feedback is relevant. Before you offer your thoughts, ask yourself, ”What are they trying to achieve?” Feedback that aligns with their goals is exactly what they need. Feedback that doesn’t is a distraction. If someone’s writing for personal expression, don’t tell them how to make it more commercial. If they’re training for a marathon, don’t suggest they try yoga instead. Great feedback respects the person’s goals and helps them refine their approach, not change their direction.
Now, let’s talk to those on the receiving end of feedback.
How to Turn Feedback Into Your Superpower
1. Embrace the sting, then dig for old:
Let’s face it, critical feedback stings. I have seen enough YouTube videos of people doing that Ice Bath challenge and I know that their first instinct is to recoil. But once they’re in, they realise that it’s either exactly what they needed to wake their bodies up or it wasn’t. The same goes for tough feedback. That initial sting? It’s most often your ego talking. But if you push past it, you’ll find insights that can aid your growth. When someone says, “Your ending of that article felt off,” instead of bristling, ask yourself, “Is there something here I can use?” Often, the most uncomfortable feedback holds the key to your next success.
2. Not every opinion matters (and that’s okay):
The truth is that not all feedback is created equal. Some will resonate deeply while some will feel completely off the mark. That’s why it’s important to filter feedback like a DJ spinning tracks at a party. You get to choose what plays and what skips. Remember, feedback is really just a tool, not a commandment. So, take what aligns with your vision and goals, and discard the rest. Just because someone didn’t vibe with your work doesn’t mean you need to overhaul everything. Stay true to yourself.
3. Look for the patterns:
When feedback starts rolling in from different people, pay attention to the patterns. If multiple people are highlighting the same issue or pointing out the same strength, that’s your signal. Patterns show you where to focus your energy. It’s the difference between reacting to one-off comments and using data to guide your growth. I learnt this during my time learning data analytics. Look for the patterns and use them to your advantage. On my own journey, I noticed a pattern: People were telling me that my articles felt more relatable when I shared personal stories. So I doubled down on that, and suddenly, creating content about my journey felt easier and my engagement improved. The feedback didn’t just help me with creating content, it literally supercharged my progress.
4. Turn feedback into fuel:
The thing about feedback is that it can either slow you down or propel you forward, depending on how you use it. So, treat every piece of feedback; whether positive or critical, as fuel. Positive feedback? That’s your affirmation that you’re on the right track. Critical feedback? That’s the rocket fuel that should push you to evolve. Instead of dreading feedback, start seeking it out. Ask yourself, “What do I want to improve?” Then, actively look for input that can help you get there. The more you view feedback as fuel, the faster you’ll accelerate toward your goals.
Personally, I view feedback, at its best, as a superpower. When it is given to me with care, specificity, and respect for my goals, I view the person who gave it as an ally in my growth. And when I receive feedback, I always do it with an open mind, filter it for what’s useful, and apply what I need to improve my journey forward.
So whether you’re on a journey like mine—walking and writing daily—or pursuing any other goal, remember that you can benefit from seeing feedback as a tool for your growth. Use it well, and it’ll take you places you never thought possible.After all, the best journeys are the ones where we don’t just move forward—we evolve.
P/s: If you have any questions about creating content and writing, please leave a comment below or DM me on Instagram!
